TODAY

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 Today I met the worst failure of my life. And when I said so I mean it. Like I go to a place where I always dreamt of but look at others being a part of that dream and living my dream. Being a person raising hands for clapping on the achievements of those who are living my dreams. I thought it would be difficult to be there, it was too but not that much. It gave me a feeling of joy with sadness, I could not read the feeling exactly, I was not aware of these before, and I was in the middle of all my failures at once. The feelings I was trying to keep to myself for years, the dreams which I keep to myself since childhood in front of me and I had to face them just like an intruder or a stranger, those were my dreams and I couldn't fulfil them. I couldn't understand why it didn't break me into pieces, just for a moment I felt shaken and broken but I knew that it would make it so I stay there and keep moving. It helped me realise that maybe those were not my dreams or now I get healed enough and changed enough or moved on or just hurt to an extent that I couldn't feel anything anymore. People are always different from other people from their own selves from their pasts from their futures. One should not be this much conformable with failures that success become just an illusion.

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