After so long!

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After so long!

I am trying to convince myself that I can write again besides judging myself based on what people could think and predict about me. It's neither easy nor difficult like a Lil decision, every beating heart can indeed feel but not every hand can write it down for them, and I had not been writing in respect to those silent beating hearts for so long. Still, now I want to become brave enough to accept that I have a loud heart. It speaks for everyone, it feels every word heard, it shouts when saw someone cry it feels bad about failures.
That is only an introduction, but the point is, Is it okay not to synchronise with the old you? what if you lost your true self in the journey, will the destination still be called success? Are we going in the correct direction? Why do people NOT stop and make it right? What if people could not accept your changes? what if you lost more friends in finding yourself? Maybe I will not publish this blog as well because people including me could not stop judging and I am not brave enough to face questions, Because I'm tired of them I need answers. I aimed to write a whole blog post but when you start thinking with other's brains, it might get hard to write, think and feel free, that's maybe a curse of maturity. Maybe this is permanent or a phase as our lives are not more than chunks of different phases and ups and down. 
I am still afraid of what people think but I want to write regardless of this, maybe my words are relatable, or maybe my vocabulary is limited but I have a vast canvas to draw my imagination and I could heal someone who is already tired of thinking. Who could not stop their brains from working on extremely useless?

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